‘Living on the edge of uncertainty’

I AM IN LOVE.....with a man and a lifestyle I will never know.

A friend (thank you Carmen) recommended that I watch a Chef's Table by Netflix to try and get some mojo and creativity back.  Firstly it is incredible to see the motivation and drive of these great chefs, obviously it is also daunting watching these masters (male and female) creating their amazing dishes knowing you do not have or will never have the skills to copy them, let alone surpass them.  As a ‘chef’ this is both inspiring and depressing.

I am depressed enough I thought I will not continue to watch, I need some happy space. Well, maybe just one more...

I watched the episode on Francis Mallmann and even though I thought I knew the who’s who of the chefing world I can honestly say, hand on heart I have never heard of him, in spite of him been a prolific author. (We own a lot of cook books).

Watching this episode was incredibly intense and personal for me and maybe it was just at the right time in the right state of mind but he really drew me in and I loved what he stands for and how he cooks, mainly the freshest ingredients possible on an open fire of one sort or another.  I nearly wept at the images of some of the food he produced; I could almost smell and taste it.

I am not sure I agree with all his parenting decisions and his lack of fidelity but each to his own and maybe that is why, even if I had the talent I could never be a great chef, I am just not selfish enough and that’s what seems to be the common trait amongst all these greats, the family comes second and they (the families) all sacrifice a lot, for their love of the chef.

At the end of Francis’s episode he looks into the dusk and says these words, (apologies if I have not got them quite correct)

‘We educated children to settle into a comfortable chair. You have a job, your little car, you have somewhere to sleep and the .......

DREAMS DIE!’

At this point I had to go back and listen again, was this really what he was saying as this is what I have felt in my heart all the time.  He continues to say: ‘In order to grow and improve you have to have a bit of uncertainty. You do not grow on a secure path, you need a lot of uncertainty and risk you need to be on the edge of uncertainty.’

Now I am really freaking out, I yell out LOUD, yes finally someone is saying what has been in my heart and soul all this time. (My son looks at me like I have lost it, but he has seen worse).

Francis carries on by saying ‘All of us need to conquer something in life and it needs a lot of work and a lot of risk.’ I hear you Francis!

So I am fired up and inspired by a pretty unscrupulous man I am sure, (reading between the lines) but who cares I feel fire in my soul and belly that I haven’t felt for a long time. BRING IT ON, do your worst world.... I am ready, I am happy to live on the edge of uncertainty as I KNOW that makes me a better person and therefore better mother, wife, chef, friend, sister, daughter etc.

The episode finishes with these words (not sure if there are Francis’s)

‘There is a whisper in the night wind

A star to guide us

The wild is calling, calling

LET US GO! ‘

See you on the wildside!

A beintot!